QUOTES

"There's tremendous relief in knowing myself. there is great cause for humility in the thought that He see's all the twisted things in me than which i see, Indeed He sees"

 “By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.”
Charles Wadsworth

“Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.”
Author Unknown

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”
Albert Einstein

“The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.”
Will Rogers

“A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.”
Lana Turner

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
Jack Handey

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
Steve Martin

Vital Questions About Prayer

Vital Questions About Prayer

Q: What Is Prayer?

Simply put, prayer is communicating with God. Real prayer is expressing our devotion to our heavenly Father, inviting Him to talk to us as we talk to Him.

Q: Who Can Pray?

Anyone can pray, but only those who walk in faith and obedience to Christ can expect to receive answers to their prayers.

Contact with God begins when we receive Jesus into our lives as Savior and Lord (John 14:6). Praying with a clean heart is also vital to successful prayer. We cannot expect God to answer our prayers if there is any unconfessed sin in our life or if we are harboring an unforgiving spirit (Psalm 66:18; Mark 11:25). For God to answer our prayers, we must have a believing heart and ask according to His will (Matthew 9:29; 21:22; 1 John 5:14,15).

Q: Why Are We to Pray?

God's Word commands us to pray (Luke 18:1; Acts 6:4; Mark 14:38; Philippians 4:6; Colossians 4:2; 1 Timothy 2:1,2).

We pray to have fellowship with God, receive spiritual nurture and strength to live a victorious life, and maintain boldness for a vital witness for Christ.

Prayer releases God's great power to change the course of nature, people, and nations.

Q: To Whom Do We Pray?

We pray to the Father in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ through the ministry of the Holy Spirit. when we pray to the Father, our prayers are accepted by Jesus Christ and interpreted to God the Father by the Holy Spirit (Romans 8:26, 27,34).

Q: When Should We Pray?

God's Word commands us to "Pray continually" (1 Thessalonians 5:17). We can be in prayer throughout the day, expressing and demonstrating our devotion to God as we go about our daily tasks.

It is not always necessary to be on our knees, or even in a quiet room to pray. God wants us to be in touch with Him constantly wherever we are. We can pray in the car, while washing the dishes, or while walking down the street.

Q: What Should We Include in Our Prayers?

Although prayer cannot be reduced to a formula, certain basic elements should be included in our communication with God: Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication (ACTS).

A-Adoration

To adore God is to worship and praise Him, to honor and exalt Him in our heart and mind and with our lips.

C-Confession

When our discipline of prayer begins with adoration, the Holy Spirit has opportunity to reveal any sin in our life that needs to be confessed.

T-Thanksgiving

An attitude of thanksgiving to God, for who He is and for the benefits we enjoy because we belong to Him, enables us to recognize that He controls all things - not just the blessings, but the problems and adversities as well. As we approach God with a thankful heart, He becomes strong on our behalf.

S-Supplication

Supplication includes petition for our own needs and intercession for others. Pray that your inner person may be renewed, always sensitive to and empowered by the Holy Spirit. Pray for others - your spouse, your children, your parents, neighbors, and friends; our nation and those in authority over us. Pray for the salvation of souls, for a daily opportunity to introduce others to Christ and to the ministry of the Holy Spirit, and for the fulfillment of the Great Commission.

POEM

Revisit the stores of your heart

And seek the profound treasures

 of love that glittered in your face

 before the enemy struck

with empty unfounded lies and

seeds of discord to cause mistrust

Choose to hear the voice of the

Most high that cares and caresses

Beyond you know the thought well

Versed and fashioned for heart desire

Let his peace knock down that fear

and set thee free and rekindle love

Trust plus confidence breeds true

love that knows no bounds and

bonds with hope of heavenly bliss

When all is said and done true

love will stand the test , the trial

And triviality will freeze and fade

Into eternal shame shades and shadows 

Trust me as I open my heart

Famished of love freezing in loneliness

Let the passion be kindled once again

Burn and burn vehemently until the whole

Universe witness the rebirth of our love

Unconditional and sandwiched with wisdom

Fools knows not love neither do

They regard the need of it for

Their end is strife and hatred

Dishonesty, lies give and take

Bellows of smoke brooding shame

Flights with fights and care

Wanting not they accompany not

Yes we can yet fly beyond

The experiences never trodden we

Can write our song book and poem

Of our own adventures and

Discoveries that through the ages

Shall be an envy of many nations.

 

#by calletts( Joram Thiong'o)

JOKES

• Bragging Boys

 Three boys in the schoolyard were bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he then calls it a poem, they give him $50.00.”

 The second boy says, “That’s nothing, My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.00.”
The third boy says, “I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!”

• Atheist

An atheist complained to a Christian friend, “You Christians have special holidays, such as Christmas and Easter. Jews celebrate their national holidays, such as Passover and Yom Kippur. But we atheists have no recognized national holidays, It’s unfair discrimination.”
His friend replied, “Why don’t you celebrate April first?”[FOOLS DAY, COZ THEY DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE GOD]

• Church Security—Special Bulletin

   Intelligence has recently uncovered a new wave of church terrorism that has rapidly affected the Body of Christ. Intelligence has uncovered the names of the leaders behind this wave: Bin Gossiping, Bin Critical, Bin Absent, and Bin Sour. This fear is, that these leaders have well developed cell organizations in many churches across the nation. Intelligence also fears that there is ever more brothers in this wicked family just waiting for orders to invade.
  
  Since our first report, we have been notified by a number of Church’s Board that they have identified four additional suspected terrorists working in different churches. Three of the four have been apprehended. Bin Sleepin, Bin Loafin, and Bin Drinkin have been taken into custody. The Associate Pastor advised us that it is very difficult to find anyone fitting the description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, in most churches. However, he is confident that anyone who looks like he’s Bin Workin will be very easy to spot.
   
  
  • The Army of the Lord
  
  
  A friend in front of me was coming out of the church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always did to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
  
  Then the pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!”
  
  The friend replied, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.”
  
  Pastor questioned him, “How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter?”
  
  He whispered back, “I’m in the secret service.”
  
  
  
  
   
  
  
• 
  

  • Rotten Eggs

  
  An elderly pastor was searching his closet for a tie before church one Sunday morning. In the back of the closet, he found a small box containing 3 eggs and 100--$1.00 bills.
  
  He called his wife into the closet to ask her about the box and its contents. Embarrassed, she admitted having hidden the box for the entire 30 years of marriage. Disappointed and hurt, the pastor asked her “why?”
  
  The wife replied that she hadn’t wanted to hurt his feelings. He asked how the box could have hurt his feelings. She said that every time during their marriage that he delivered a poor sermon, she placed an egg into the box.
  
  The pastor felt that 3 poor sermons in 30 years was certainly nothing to feel bad about, so he asked what about the $100.00 for.
  
  She replied, “Each time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them to the neighbor for $1.00!
   

 

Fear is a snare

A man who makes caskets was on his way to deliver one of his coffins when his car broke down .Trying not 2 be late he put the coffin on his head and began heading to his destination. Some policemen saw him and wanted to make some money off him (bribe) so they challenged him "hey, what r u carrying and where r ... u going" the man said "I do not like where i was buried so am relocating" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The policemen qualified for the Olympics competition due to the speed with which they took off to save their lives!!!.

PARKING PASTOR

Minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 100 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES."
      
      When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note. "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION

YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!!!!!