Bragging Boys
The second boy says, “That’s nothing, My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.00.”
The third boy says, “I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!”
Atheist
His friend replied, “Why don’t you celebrate April first?”[FOOLS DAY, COZ THEY DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE GOD]
Church Security—Special Bulletin
Intelligence has recently uncovered a new wave of church terrorism that has rapidly affected the Body of Christ. Intelligence has uncovered the names of the leaders behind this wave: Bin Gossiping, Bin Critical, Bin Absent, and Bin Sour. This fear is, that these leaders have well developed cell organizations in many churches across the nation. Intelligence also fears that there is ever more brothers in this wicked family just waiting for orders to invade.
Since our first report, we have been notified by a number of Church’s Board that they have identified four additional suspected terrorists working in different churches. Three of the four have been apprehended. Bin Sleepin, Bin Loafin, and Bin Drinkin have been taken into custody. The Associate Pastor advised us that it is very difficult to find anyone fitting the description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, in most churches. However, he is confident that anyone who looks like he’s Bin Workin will be very easy to spot.
- The Army of the Lord
A friend in front of me was coming out of the church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always did to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
Then the pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!”
The friend replied, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.”
Pastor questioned him, “How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter?”
He whispered back, “I’m in the secret service.”
Rotten Eggs
An elderly pastor was searching his closet for a tie before church one Sunday morning. In the back of the closet, he found a small box containing 3 eggs and 100--$1.00 bills.
He called his wife into the closet to ask her about the box and its contents. Embarrassed, she admitted having hidden the box for the entire 30 years of marriage. Disappointed and hurt, the pastor asked her “why?”
The wife replied that she hadn’t wanted to hurt his feelings. He asked how the box could have hurt his feelings. She said that every time during their marriage that he delivered a poor sermon, she placed an egg into the box.
The pastor felt that 3 poor sermons in 30 years was certainly nothing to feel bad about, so he asked what about the $100.00 for.
She replied, “Each time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them to the neighbor for $1.00!
Fear is a snare
A man who makes caskets was on
his way to deliver one of his
coffins when his car broke
down .Trying not 2 be late he put
the coffin on his head and began
heading to his destination. Some
policemen saw him and wanted
to make some money off him
(bribe) so they challenged him
"hey, what r u carrying and where r
... u going" the man said "I do not
like where i was buried so am
relocating" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. The policemen qualified for the
Olympics competition due to the speed with which
they took off to save their lives!!!.
PARKING PASTOR
Minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 100 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES."
When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note. "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION
YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!!!!!
hahahaha
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